16 and Pregnant 

Hey all!
As many of you may already know I was a teenage mum…. It may come as a surprise but I’ve never actually told my pregnancy story but decided it was time…..

It was a dark and stormy night…lol just kidding.

It was actually summer when I met “him” this tall not-so handsome guy who approached me in the arcade in Central London. Typical huh!

“He was talking to me?!….a guy?.. was actually talking to meee! “

I was 15 and ignorant….I craved attention from guys. From as young as I can remember I craved to be married and loved. It’s soo weird but I can remember being 7 years old and dreaming about my husband, my family and my own home…..I had more than enough love from both parents as a child I just reckon I was an old romantic in my past life and Disney movies only made my desire worse.

Anyway….we dated and fell for each other, he was older by about 3 years but I lied and told him I was 16! He went nuts when I admitted the truth, luckily I was only 2 weeks away from my 16th birthday when we met but let’s just say things were rocky from there. #redflag

I was never the most sane girl in the world as a kid and during my final years of school I got severely bullied, at one point it was like all the groups of “IT” girls made my life a living hell….so practically half the school year hated my guts and made sure I knew it.

“One day I did something to take the pain away…I tried and I failed…..”

The world was my enemy, people were the bane of my life and death and darkness were my friends. The only place I felt safe and understood was in my own dreams….so I vowed to become a permanent resident.

As I was at the point of no return and gave zero fucks by this point I went and had unprotected sex with my then boyfriend of 7 months. I won’t lie and say I didn’t know what I was doing because deep down I’m sure I did….I just didn’t give a shit…

Pregnancy Test day

So I guessed I might be preggaz before I even took the test. Call it mothers intuition…I knew…

So after school I headed to Superdrugs and bought a £5 value test and snuck off to his house to take it. It was the most agonising 30 seconds of my life….that 2nd line appeared instantly and confirmation was there….I was pregnant….

I slowly walked into his room and handed him the test, silent and amazed..he seemed happy…I was silent…

“All of a sudden the world came crashing down…I’m 16, I’m pregnant, and how the fuck am I going to tell my mum.”This is the actual photo taken After I found out I was pregnant! Thank god for camera phones aye! 

It didn’t take me very long to tell my mum…Infact it was 2 days later…not because I was proud of it, but because I knew leaving it would only make it worse. So I stood near the front door and told her… I was ready to run incase she went savage on my ass 😂
She took it better then I expected, obviously she was disappointed but to be honest after the shit I attempted a couple months before…I think she prefered a grandchild compared to a gravestone….

“I was so determined to die….then all of a sudden… I was soo determined to live”

At the time I was actually out of school due to the severe bullying that lead to a full on fist fight…and yes…I was pregnant..Maybe it was the hormones but I was ready for blood! Eventually my motivation to return back to school and take my GCSE’s came back and within a couple months before my exams started I was back in the hell hole.

People in school found out I was pregnant, I had only told two people I considered as friends, deep down I always knew who blabbed and it certainly wasn’t the friend who supported me through the madness. But I denied it, I taught myself to lie well! Even when a couple of the “IT” girls pushed my stomach really hard for confirmation of my not so pregnant pregnancy. (apparently they thought they would be able to feel the baby) 😨I won’t lie it really hurt and I was tempted to fly kick her but I was already FOUR months pregnant by then and I won’t lie…. she scared the shit out of me 🙈

4 months pregnant 

Long story short… I took my GCSE’s….passed all A-C’s and planned my future as a stay at home teen mum….

Then one day my trusty friend  “Common Sense” kicked in and said to me…”I could make something of myself, I didn’t need to be a victim of my circumstances I could make it work”! …I went to the local education advisors to find out my options and decided I would enrol in college that September SIX months pregnant. By this time the dad and i was drifting apart and the birth was fastly approaching . I stopped seeing him as often to avoid disrespecting my mum. Not that she had a problem with it but I just knew I’d messed up and really didn’t want to add insult to injury… so eventually he found someone else to keep his bed warm.

Although that was awful and heartbreaking we remained as civil as we could. During the whole pregnancy we were saving for everything we needed for the baby…I saved my pocket money that I got from my dad which was only £15 a week and he did what ever he could. So as you can probably tell…I am quite a money maker and I cared far more about his finaicial contribution then i did about the cheating.. but hey, I was only 17, could I really expect anything less? I was a kid myself!

“We bought everything ….everything ourselves”

There was never a situation where my mum would have to suffer the financial burden of my child. I created her, so I would have to support her and I did…

Labour day...

It was 9 days past my due date and I was fed up and tired..I wanted out of this pregnancy and I wanted to meet my little girl….then finally after Three days of labour she arrived….leaving me torn up, exhausted with almost a litre worth of blood missing.

8th December 2007 @7:4pm 6lbs 9oz

She was soo cute and she was all mine…finally I had a reason to live for…finally I had something worth living for…Shamaya 

Her father and I never made it past 2 weeks of her birth and considering we went to the same college we really went our separate ways. I returned to college 4 weeks after giving birth and shamaya stayed with mum 3 days a week for the rest of term (approx 5 months) I managed to complete the course and got ready for my degree the following September.
My mum really was my rock, it was bad enough I let her down but the way she stepped in to help me get my qualifications and taught me how to be a mother….I am eternally greatful!

Being a young mum was not easy but I sure as hell made it look easy. By the time shamaya was 5 months I moved into a mother and baby unit and really began independant living. Her dad was a complete and utter bastard, he stopped financially contributing immediately after her birth and by her 2nd birthday bought a one way ticket back to Africa, and we have barely heard from him or seen him in the past SEVEN YEARS.

She began nursery and I finally accepted I was a single mother and this is just how its gonna be. She was a nightmare colic newborn and I won’t lie…I thought she hated me.
One night; it was a Wednesday. .she cried non stop until day light Thursday ! I remember breaking down and crying with her, I just couldn’t get her to stop. That day I wanted to give up but I couldn’t because I didn’t want to let my mum down or admit that I was too young to have a baby…bottom line….I was too young to have a baby and even though I coped eventually, these past 9 years have been a challenge.

Imagine boyfriends, breakups,  breastfeeding, relationships, friendships, social life, college, essays, working, bills and a household now throw a teenage single mother with a demanding baby into the equation ! Absolutely bonkers!

I didn’t really discuss my daughter to friends and really tried to keep that part of my life separate from my social life. I mean which 17 year old is going to want listen to me talking about my baby.. So college and university was all about fun, friends and studying. Once I got home then mommyrosebud would get to work for her 2nd job. Caring for Shamaya..

I had very little patience as a young mum. I refused to let anything or anyone stop me from becoming a success. I worked twice a week in a Dental Laboratory and went uni three times a week for 2 years until I qualified as a Dental Technician.

Graduating Uni with my daughter watching me was one of the best days of my life!!! I did it! I didn’t become a victim of my circumstances, I became a Dental Technician and I can only imagine that i was most likely the youngest mother to graduate at 19 along with the rest of my class. I did it!

There were days I cried, days I smiled, days I laughed and days I felt shamaya was better off without me. I would never condone intentional teenage pregnancy. It was bloody hard to get to this point. I have never stopped studying and now I have 3 healthcare professional qualifications in total and counting! I vowed to become a success for her and have succeeded thus far but still for any young teens out there reading this….

USE PROTECTION and LIVE YOUR LIFE FIRST! I am one of the lucky ones, I was mature and smart enough to make a plan, I also had an amazing mother to teach me and help me through the early months of motherhood. Some young mums are not as lucky. And, for any young mums who are feeling like “this is it, your life is over” read this post again and again because if I could achieve all I have then so could you. It’s all in the mind and how abitious you are…You either want to succeed or you don’t.. it may take a little longer and I can promise you it will be harder but…You can do it…You can’t win if you quit! 

Don’t forget to like, comment and of course follow for more posts.

Why not follow me on social media:

Instagram: Mommy_rosebuds

Snapchat : asahela-r

-Leah xxxxx

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33 Comments Add yours

  1. I was also a teenage mum, and though I wouldn’t want my now 16 year old to do the same, I actually really enjoy being only in my 30s while my two children are teenagers. Some people are just destined to have children early I guess, and it seems like you have done an amazing job. I too am on my own, have been for years with no daddy about,my youngest is disabled, and sometimes life seems so very, very hard, but not having anyone to please bar myself and the children (and the pets) isn’t so bad. I see people in loveless marriages all the time. I have had two myself haha, and I think for now the single life definitely favours me.
    Well done to you on such a thought provoking and honest piece of writing. You are an inspiration to young girls who may be in the same situation, that life doesn’t stop when you have a baby.
    And your baby (now child) is beautiful Xxxxx

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Asahela says:

      Thank you soo much for reading my post hun, it’s really great to hear from other teenage mums. It really can be so hard and I think during that time in my life I needed to be a single mum. I get soo happy when I think about how old I will be when my daughter is 18! She already knows mama’s coming raving too lmao zx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is inspirational, Asahela. 🙂 Your daughter is beautiful!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Asahela says:

      Thanks you hunny xxx

      Like

  3. Lively Life says:

    Wow what an incredible story. You are so brave, you so confident and stayou thru it all. The linr about your mom glad for a grand daughtrr instead of a gravestone is scary and shows the depth of your unhappiness. And you were reallly okay witg splittin from shamayas dad? Did u know before u werent goig to spend life togetger? Tgat u didnt want to. I guess u wete so young. U Just acceptes reality eh. Thank u for sharing! Proud of you for sticking thru it all!!shamaya is fortunaye to have such a determined mommy:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Asahela says:

      Thanks for reading hun! In all honesty once shamaya came along she really was my number 1 priority along with studying. The reality of being a single mum didn’t actually hit me until he left us for good. At 16 I couldn’t even visualise being a mum and making that work let along spending the rest of my life with him… I really was soo young. Thanks soo much for reading my love xxx

      Like

  4. Penny says:

    Love reading your blogs Asa, your doing your babies proud believe me!! MotherHood is hard work no doubt about that one hun lol P.S miss you come see us soon when your free !! Lol xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Asahela says:

      Awww penny! Thanks babes will defo come and bring the kids to see you soon! They would drive u nuts though 😂😂xx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Quite the story and you being so courageous. Congratulations on your degree and you have a beautiful daughter. Kudos to your mother to help you during a difficult time. Be well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Asahela says:

      Thank you soo much for reading! My mums amazing! All the best x

      Like

  6. Suzette says:

    Thank you for sharing your courageous and inspirational story! I love reading your blog, you’re an excellent writer!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Asahela says:

      Thanks soo much Suzette that really means a lot to me xxz

      Like

  7. Tony Single says:

    Inspirational. Truly. It’s such a pleasure to read something of what you’ve been through, and how you’ve overcome quite a bit actually. You’ve put a huge smile on my face. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Asahela says:

      Awww thanks Tony, really appreciate your kind words xx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I love your writing – very real and inspirational.

    Like

    1. Asahela says:

      Thanks soo much for reading x

      Like

  9. McApple says:

    Very inspiring!
    Life shouldn’t end with a setback.
    Great mum you’ve got and a gorgeous daughter too…that’s a lot of blessings to count!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Asahela says:

      Aww thanks hunny

      Liked by 1 person

  10. amoafowaa says:

    God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. lokysblog says:

    Read it and Loved it, thank you for openly sharing – the most beautiful post so far on your blog, I hope there is more to come!

    Regards,
    Lokys ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  12. kphoenix1 says:

    Your story is inspiring. You’re an example that a young mother can do all things, and you accomplished well. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Asahela says:

      Thank you soo much hun xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. kphoenix1 says:

        You’re very welcome.

        Like

  13. Atomic Words says:

    Hey Asahela you have an amazing story. I am sure now it seems breezy when you look back but must have been very hard. I can’t imagine what choices I would have made in the same situation, it’s scary. But you did real good. My mom my just faint if I had done the same lol but I am glad God didnt let you take the grave path but instead you found life. That’s really amazing. Good job dear and well done

    Liked by 1 person

  14. themontrosemum says:

    Wow, what a strong and powerful post! Shamaya is adorable! You must be so proud , and a massive congratulations on graduating while having a child to care for at the same time x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Asahela says:

      Awww thank you soo much hun x

      Liked by 1 person

  15. You are a breve girl!!
    All the best from Oviedo, Spain!!
    Jose Yebra

    Like

    1. Asahela says:

      Thank you soo much Jose, it’s never easy but the strategy is to *Never Give up* x

      Liked by 1 person

  16. justjessreality says:

    Best teenage success story ive read. I am proud that you were able to accomplish so much and i myself am hoping to start school this year in the same field. I really enjoyed readinf this and getting a back story on your life. May you continue to be blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ok thank you soo much Hun I really appreciate ur kind words. Xx

      Like

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