When I’m DEAD…..I’ll sleep!

Rosebud diaries #1


I’m tired….so tired I don’t know what to do with myself, I haven’t slept more then 6 hours in 2 days and I’m officially burnt out. This has been going on for a month now! 😥

I would like to say it’s just down to the kids waking me up but that would be a bare faced lie.

It’s me…it’s all me and if I carry on like this I won’t make it…

For years I’ve had a weird pattern where I lay in bed and think all through the night. My mind never sleeps…Infact the reason I gained all my qualifications was due to one of my Sleepless nights where I had some genius idea and ran with it. Seriously!
So it has its good points and it’s bad….
The reason I’m stuggling is because I’m extremely sleep deprived; now, I am due to take an exam next week and I can barely focus to study… “It’s a shame my genius idea of becoming a Lactation Consultant and studying 1 month after a C-section delivery of my exclusively breastfed 3rd child along with a hyperactive verging ADHD toddler didn’t ring any alarm bells at the time”
Like, for real! I completed a 1 year course to become a breastfeeding specialist in 10 weeks! As well as finishing 8 essays back to back for a course in Maternity and peadiatric support.
(Im a Flipping nut job! I graduated from university back in 2010 as a Dental Techician, I don’t actually need to study!)

I have a problem…I just don’t know what it is….

People congratulate me for all that I have achieved so young, but never see the danger in all that I do….

This time, I am completly fried and praying for a better day when I can sleep peacefully and stop taking courses.

The 2 youngest kids are not easy especially Amzah who is 2 and a half and has some form of development challenges, so far it mainly appears to be speech delay and sensory issues, with a few others that I will mention in a different post (When we see a paediatrician we will know more)

I honestly think that right now I’m having a tough time Balancing sleep and wake life and it’s gone way too far!
I don’t usually ask of this but please keep me in your thoughts and prayers while I muddle through revision, kids and the ever pending exam. I could do with a bit of good energy and love flowing my way 😘

Thanks for taking the time to read my depressing post! It’s that mom life type of post today.
Look out for more entries from the #Rosebuddiaries

Let me know what you mommas do when your exhausted, how do you get a good balance to keep functioning?

Until next time

14 Comments Add yours

  1. Audra says:

    There is no balance! And when you find one, it is short lived! I try to have my husband babysit for an hour so I can take a nap. But even with that, who is to say I will be able to fall asleep. I will keep you in my thoughts! Good luck with everything. It seems that you are doing an amazing job so far! 💛

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks hunny, I really appriecte you taking the time to think of me and comment. Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sending lots of love and light to you and your kids!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your love and light, just you commenting offers me a healing. I appreciate it soo much. Xxx

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh my god! You sound like a super hero and I totally salute you, amazing lady! But remember, even superheroes take breaks! You’re clearly taking on a lot, maybe if you could have a day where you don’t study and try to focus as much on yourself and your well-being it could help you centre your thoughts? If you have some family / friends for support you could get them to look after your kids for a few hours and you should do something lavish for yourself! Good luck with everything!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh thank you hun, your advice was much needed, I think I’m going to book an hour deep tissue massage for next week… hopefully that helps xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Anil Hudda says:

    Lots of love and peaceful sleep to you!!!!! By the time my prayer reaches you I am sure you are fast asleep !!!😴😴😴

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Awww thank you xxx

      Liked by 2 people

  5. erhynireh says:

    I know where you’re coming from dear. I am also sleep deprived and until nowI am still struggling on how to change my body clock. It is true that the things that’s going on with our life could greatly affect our sleep pattern. But we shouldn’t allow these unpleasant situation get the better of us. Think of your children, how they need you, how you loce them, everything will fall into place, you just have to be strong for them, for you! God bless!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. aby says:

    Hey there, it will get better and you will get to sleep, but you’ll have forgotten how to have lie in on a weekend!!! all I can say is as your kids grow up and become more independent-the dynamics will change. God bless

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks aby! I look forward to the day when the kids will let me have a lie in. #countdownbegins x

      Liked by 1 person

  7. autistsix says:

    I have 4 my trick is to make sure they are safe (child proof the room you’re all in) & sleep on the couch, waking, grabbing what they need fast & lying straight down again. I remember a few years again the 4 girls were all in a dressage comp. (Riding for the Disabled) the 6 of us went to the car for lunch & all slept for an hour and a half, a coach woke us up & they finished the comp. I have slept in doctor’s offices or anywhere. My husband & I fell asleep while his psychiatrist dealt with an emergency, I was using his wheel chair wheel as a pillow. Just make sure everyone’s safe when you crash.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s great u really seem to have everything covered. Been reading your posts. Ur such an amazing mum! Thank you x

      Liked by 1 person

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