Finding “me” amongst the madness 

So as you can imagine, having a baby changes you. Your thoughts, your priorities and least to say, your body. 

Now I got pregnant at 16, I barely got the chance to enjoy life let alone find myself so it’s safe to say I am still working on “me” three kids later. It’s odd, but I find myself getting a little erratic after a baby, I tend to dive into a course or a hobby to help myself cope with reality. I’ve always had this mindset that I can do anything I put my mind to and boy don’t I go for it. 

I see myself approaching 25 in a few weeks and yes on one hand I have accomplished much but on the other hand I need to explore what I’m truely living for?…. What I want from life? Who I would like to be? and most importantly what I am hoping to achieve in the end? 

To try and come to terms with things I started going out again. I suppose I just wanted to be a normal 24 year old, and in typical youngster style I went to a rave!!!! Now…. Bare in mind I have a 3 month old who’s exclusively breastfeeding I was really taking a risk… So I expressed and got dolled up in a nice lil black dress, cleavage out, hair and eyebrows done and set off! 

As I pulled up at my girlfriends house realisation hits me! I have no ID. Now anyone who lives in London knows you can’t get into a club without ID so I start worrying and beg to drive back home to get my passport where my girls politely say no and promise we will get in. 

Now believe it or not we left at midnight… Drove around for an hour then got in a club purely by chatting to the door man until we got familiar and let us in… Who knew it was that easy aye? 

We ended up staying in that club for an hour until my friend got tired of being “followed and chatted up” by a guy who bought us drinks. So to cut the story short, we ended up tipsy and eating fried chicken in morleys by 3am. 

By 4am I was home and back in bed wondering what the hell happened to my wild night… My boobs were huggeeee and begging to be expressed and I quickly relieved them praying id have enough milk to feed Amal next sitting… 

Then all of a sudden! I get the most excruciating pain in my stomach and feel like I’m dying…. After all that it turns out I’m sensitive to alcohol and fried chicken! I end up in and out of hospital for a week and making myself the repeated and obvious promise never to drink again! 

So I guess you can say my aim to find myself that night back fired! The only thing I found was pain and the bog 😆 

Until next time……

   
 

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13 thoughts on “Finding “me” amongst the madness 

  1. I couldn’t help but chuckle at this post. You sound just like me! The first time I went out drinking after I had my lg I was out at 8 and home by 10:30! Lovely to read such honest posts keep it up 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for stopping by my blog and liking my post Bad to the Bone. I lived in London a while back and it was a swinging town then, too. Enjoying my visit to your little corner of the blogosphere.

    Liked by 1 person

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